21. dyke. poetry. literature. music. gaga. cats. hilarity. nonsense. fashion.

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."

I hate to be so negative on here. Nothing but positive posts from now on.

So here’s the cycle: trigger & disassociate, panic attack later, negative voices and/or reliving traumatic experiences , self harm and/or refusal for self care, more disassociation, more negative feelings, repression of episode the next day & convincing myself that this is all so silly and I need to just get over it

"If you don’t get excited when you’re about to kiss someone then you probably shouldn’t be kissing them. It should get you riled up inside and should not be mediocre."

I don’t know exactly how to describe this, but 98% of the time I feel like I’m in an alternate universe. Like, I’m a different person trapped in this body. Like this isn’t reality. I always feel disconnected from everything that is going on. Nothing happens to me, it just happens to the body I’m in. I just watch.